Food is awesome. But some foods are not awesome. The following is a list of the less than stellar bags of chips I have had the displeasure of trying.

5: Lay’s Original BBQ

Toolays much flavoring and way too greasy. Grabbing a handful of chips out of the bag shouldn’t feel like you shoved your hand up a pig’s ass and parading it around like a puppet. It is impossible to eat an entire bag without writing yourself an apology letter for the damage you just created to your own person. The only use for these is to pour them into a bowl at a picnic or outdoor eating venue, and hope the ants and birds take them. Essentially, these are just ‘looking at” chips.



4: Kettle Brand Krinkle Cut Dill Pickle

kettleFirst of all, pickles are nothing more than a rotten cucumber. The only reason to ever eat a pickle is if you are homeless and the rest of the food in the dumpster is rancid. So unless you are a diseased hobo, you have no business succumbing to the nastiness of eating garbage. Secondarily, the fact that they then took this flavor of corroded vegetable and sprinkled it on top of a crinkle cut potato chip makes this a health hazard, two times over. Wait, you mean to tell me that I can eat something that tastes like gorilla shit AND slice the roof of my mouth open? Sign me up! I always wanted a sun roof in my MOUTH.


3: Pringles Grilled Shrimp

pringlesThere is a special place in hell for the creator of this monstrosity. Grilled shrimp, ACTUAL grilled shrimp, is delicious. Regular flavored Pringles, are delicious. But a potato chip that TASTES like grilled shrimp? Kill me. Chips are crunchy and hard, shrimp is not. Combining these two sense into one thing is a mind fuck that even Jenna Jameson wants no part of. It is the taste bud equivalent of watching a lion stalk a zebra but instead of eating it, it has sex with it, instead. It is jarring and unnatural…just like this chip. Also, fuck Pringles for making the cans too small for their fatty customers to adequately reach in and grab from the middle down. You know who is eating your product, you stupid assholes. Give us a fat hand can!


2: Cheetos

Icheetos am pretty sure if you have ever even OPENED one of these bags, you should probably get a full body biopsy done. That is not a natural color of orange. You “food” should never glow. And I am pretty sure if you listen intently, you can actually hear these things humming due to all the nuclear bullshit pumped into this piece of shit. Speaking of which, the design looks like a literal piece of dried up cat shit. Just staring at the bag gives me diarrhea. AND SINCE WHEN IS A CHEETAH FUCKING ORANGE?!?!?! Fuck everything about this fuckery.



1: Fritos


The person that invented these should be arrested, imprisoned and ultimately shot in the face for unleashing this evil on the world. Let’s start with opening this sack of crap, shall we? You open it and are immediately greeted with a stunning blast of egregious “air” that smells like Bigfoot’s dick. Honestly, what marketing/R&D person thought it would be a good idea for the chips to actually fart directly into your face upon consumption? Then, if you are able to make it past that, you pull out, what can only be described as, the most disgusting looking thing you will ever lay eyes on. What is a Frito, anyway? I am not entirely sure, but it wouldn’t surprise me if they weren’t just the leftover toe nails from people who have died. Oh, and if you are somehow not able to smell OR see, you have the pleasure of actually popping these into your mouth and get to experience what it is like if you ate wet sand. You just keep chewing forever like a fucking dairy cow shewing on grass and never actually eat any of it. You just chomp it down into a fine paste before I sort of just fucks off and absorbs into your body.  This entire product should be banned unilaterally across all nations.

I would like to point out that I am deathly allergic to Cheetos, which is number two on this list, and not allergic to Fritos.





Comedian Abel Jaramillo returns to the show to discuss an incident that happened in his early 20’s that involved him hitting a pedestrian on the freeway, a dead body, and him having to eventually turn himself in to the authorities. Listen during Happy Hour to hear the entire, crazy story.  In Stupid/Drunken News we meet a Maryland man who had a four hour standoff with police after someone took a bite of his sandwich, and as always, Sam and Matt review the beers on What’s On Tap.

Plus, Matt Says A Movie Thing, and our first Dead Celebrity of 2017 is revealed!

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For more information on Steve Austin’s Broken Skull IPA, go to

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The tradition is officially a tradition! Sam and Matt are back to discuss all of the things they hate for 2016 in their 2nd annual Hatesgiving Day Parade! What returning television show has Matt up in arms? A certain tire company has raised Sam’s ire. And why DO people feel compelled to knock on the bathroom door when it is closed and the light is on, anyway?

We also review Imperial Coffee and Cigarettes Porter from Cellarmaker Brewing Company out of San Francisco, California and Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ale by New Belgium Brewing from Fort Collins, Colorado.

Stupid/Drunken News takes us to Florida (shocking) where a man missed the toilet at a 7-Eleven and urinated in the beer refrigerator, instead.

Plus, Matt Says A Movie Thing!

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The next President Of The United States will be elected on November 8th. But given the choices, Matt Somerville and Sam Marcoux figured it was best to give their audience a TRUE third option. The boys run down what they would do if they were President. Everything from exploding cars, to healthy junk food and finally getting their hover boards that movies promised to them in their childhood, Sam and Matt right the nation’s wrongs. Or at least, they give themselves stuff that they want.

Plus, a man gets a DUI while driving a bar stool. Yep, you read that right.

We officially introduce a new segment called, “Matt Says A Movie Thing”, and of course, BEER REVIEWS!

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For more information on Anderson Valley’s Summer Solstice, visit:

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Comedian David Lew joins the show to talk about his decade long run in stand-up comedy, his never ending fight against cancer, and how getting scammed out of $80, was the best money he ever spent. David suffers from a rare type of cancer that isn’t curable. Having been diagnosed officially in 2014, David discusses how he was unofficially told he had it in 2012 and why he did nothing about it, at the time.

Support David Lew by going to his website: and you can buy tickets to his headlining weekend at Tommy T’s in Rancho Cordova by going to

Plus, Matt returns to the show to review Three Philosophers by Brewery Ommegang out of Cooperstown, New York. Meanwhile Sam reviews Frucht Blueberry by Bruery Terreux, out of Orange County, California. Matt also debuts a new segment, cleverly called, “Matt Says A Movie Thing” where he recommends a movie for your viewing pleasure each week.

And of course…Stupid/Drunken News brings us to New Mexico where a man is caught by the cops after trying to steal doughnuts…shocking.


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Predictably Drunk is back! Season three of the popular podcast kicks off with a familiar face as Comedian and Reality TV Star, Steph Garcia re-joins the show to talk about her new show on The Food Network, Worst Bakers In America, (debuting Sunday, October 2nd), her big show at the Roseville Theatre on Saturday, October 15th and why she has decided to quit Facebook for good.

Plus, Sam reviews a beer from Strike Brewing in San Jose, California and stupid/drunken news takes us to Florida (shocking).

For tickets to Steph’s show at the Roseville Theatre: Comedy Night Tickets

For more information on Worst Bakers In America, go to:

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Sam and Matt return in an EPIC podcast that discusses the best and worst movies of Steven Spielberg’s illustrious career. From reviving dinosaurs in the 1990’s to setting back race relations in the 1970’s, Mr. Spielberg has had quite the career. Known primarily for his amazing films, many people don’t realize how crap-tastic some of Steven’s movies are and were. Matt unravels his knowledge of the famous director and fills you in one what flicks are the best, and more importantly, which ones are the worst.

Additionally, in Stupid/Drunken News, a man crashes his car while driving drunk…and playing Pokemon Go. And as always, Matt and Sam review two new beers during the What’s On Tap segment. This week we tackle beers from San Diego’s Ballast Point and Bear Republic out of Healdsburg, California.


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For more information on Ballast Point, go to their website:

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Noah Gain from the “Shane & Gain Podcast” sits down with Sam at Cobb’s Comedy Club in San Francisco to discuss Noah’s start in comedy, his infertility discovery and the green room faux pas that caused him to get the nickname, “D’Angelo”. Plus, Jeff Koenig delivers awful  pick up lines and both he and Noah reveal how they are victims of a fellow comedian.

Plus, Matt re-joins the show to discuss his newborn son, what his first drink was after the birth and why drinking beer has become more difficult after having a child.

Additionally, we review Deschutes Brewery’s  Black Butte Porter, as well as Anheuser-Busch’s Bud Light Chelada.

And in Stupid/Drunken news, we find out what cities in the United States, are the most drunk.

Follow the show on Instagram @PredictablyDrunk, as well as Facebook @PredictablyDrunkPodcast and check out our website

Subscribe to the podcast on Itunes and Stitcher Radio and be sure to RATE AND REVIEW!

Follow Noah Gain on Twitter @Noah_Gain and check out his podcast, “Shane & Gain”.

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Professional Wrestler and Stand-Up Comedian, Mikey G (AKA Sea Bass) joined the show to explain his recent arrest in St. Louis at The Funny Bone. During this leg of his national comedy tour, the Cotton Mouth Comedy Tour, Mikey found himself in his hometown of St. Louis, Missouri. While headlining the local comedy club for friends, family and fans, an incident broke out that ended with Mikey G behind bars. In addition, Mikey discusses his pro wrestling career and lets us know when to be concerned about blood loss while battling in the squared circle.

Plus, Matt and Sam review Pick Six Pilsner by Pizza Port Brewing Company, as well as Denogginizer by Drake’s Brewing Company.

And in Stupid/Drunken News, Germany now has underground pipes to pump beer from the brewery, directly to the bottling plant. European ingenuity at its finest!

For Mikey G’s comedy and wrestling events,  visit his website at

For more information on Pizza Port Brewing Co. visit their website at

For more information on Drake’s Brewing Co. visit their website at

The Stupid/Drunken News story about the beer pipeline can be found at

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Sam and Matt trade drunken stories of yesteryear. From throwing up in taxi cabs, to peeing in bushes. And which one of the two of them jumped out of a hotel window without ever spilling a drop of his beer? Find out in this week’s episode of Predictably Drunk: Smart People Talking About Stupid Things.

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Kabir SIngh, Jeremy Curry and Jeff Koenig sit down to discuss the Golden State Warriors losing to The Oklahoma City Thunder, as well as Jeff’s love life. Plus, we find out what Jeff wanted to be growing up and how he lit a fence on fire using a water gun.


Special appearance by Sam Marcoux



Matt discusses his road rage issues from yesteryear and swears that he has changed his ways, while sharing stories that clearly shoe that he has not. Additionally, Sam reveals that he one got into a road rage victim that involved high speeds, barbecue beef sandwiches and little kids. Plus, Sam hates the 555 area code that is used in movies, Matt forgets that our announcer, Ross Baker, exists, and more.

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Sam is on the road…literally. Recording from his car with fellow comedian, Pete Munoz, Predictably Drunk is driving to it’s latest gig and talking to Pete about his start in comedy, being a Spurs fan living in Warriors country, the strangest comedy gigs he has ever gotten and his propensity to fight with his comedy brethren on social media.

The San Jose born and raised comic is the poster boy for the South Bay comedy scene. Hitting mics 7 nights a week, Pete brings his witty riffing and improv style that cannot be matched.

Follow Pete Munoz on Twitter @ PtrMunoz

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Mario The Butcher sits down to talk to Sam before a recent comedy show. An extremely honest and candid interview where Mario talks about his struggles with drinking, the hardest part about being homeless and getting in trouble in the military. We also discuss his successful comedy career, getting out of speeding tickets and of course, having the coolest nickname ever.

Follow Mario on Twitter at @MarioMontes65

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Predictably Drunk has reached 50 episodes! And what better way to celebrate this minor achievement than to make you listen to some of the highlights from the first 49, right? Right. From musical guests to porn stars and a ton of comics, the podcast has been a lot of fun to produce, and listen to.

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Sam and Matt discuss some of the unwritten rules of comedy. In other word,s the nonsense rules that people are too lazy to write down and post somewhere in the club for aspiring comedians to read and learn. Listen and learn what the number one unwritten rule of comedy is, and how to easily avoid it. Plus, if you think running the light isn’t a big deal, find out why you are dead wrong.


In addition, Matt can’t pronounce, or spell, Lagunitas correctly, despite the label of the beer being directly in front of him while we podcast. Ross Baker gets his verbal beatdown from your Predictably Drunk Heroes, and more! Not much more…but some…okay, very little else, but whatever. Just listen and enjoy.

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Follow Sam on Twitter at @Tigerclawmedy or go to for information on upcoming tour dates.




Sam returns from being on the road for comedy and discusses his recent gigs in Reno, Lake Tahoe, San Luis Obispo, and Sunnyvale as part of Rooster T. Feathers’ annual comedy competition. In addition, Matt joins in to discuss his recent back troubles that include slipped discs in his back that will require surgery.

Plus, the show welcomes it’s official announcer, Ross Baker, to the show. Ross and his “Golden Voice of Tremendousness”, come to the show from Reno, Nevada where he works as a professional announcer for live events, radio and more. Which begs the quesiton…why the hell is he slumming it with us?


-Subscribe to Predictably Drunk on Itunes and Stitcher Radio. PLEASE RATE AND REVIEW US!
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-Music by: Koma



Ellis Rodriguez sits down with Sam in the green room of Tommy T’s before the Predictably Drunk Comedy All-Stars to discuss a myriad of topics. From the positives and negatives of being a good looking guy in comedy, to sharing how to pull pranks properly in the military, and even being so funny, that you make an audience member poop themselves, Ellis holds nothing back.

A semi-finalist in the Comedy Central New Talent Search and 3rd Place in the World Series of Comedy, Mr. Rodriguez has an extremely bright future in front of him. Look for him on Kevin Hart’s new project on Comedy Central, later this year.

Visit Ellis’s website at and follow him on Twitter @ellistrated.

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Sam is drunk and on the road for comedy, so Matt interviews ComicCon Exhibitor and artist, Jon Bolerjack. Jon is a former Production Artist at DC Comics, and Inker at Wildstorm, as well as Aspen Comics. He is currently working with Stan Lee (yes THAT Stan Lee) on a video project in addition to selling his unique brand of art online, and at comic book conventions around the world.

Jon and Matt discuss Jon’s background and how he got into the comic book industry, as well as the hardships of working over 20 trade shows a year. Jon gives his top five drawbacks of comic book conventions and yes, comic book fan’s body odor is on the list.  In addition, Jon tells us what Stan Lee is really like and what the creator of The Marvel Universe’s future plans include.

Additionally, Jon gives you, the nerds, helpful hints on how to navigate through San Diego ComicCon, as well as what to NOT ask Stan Lee and what NOT to do when visiting the various exhibitors at these shows.

You can follow Jon Bolerjack on Instagram at JonBolerjackArt

You can follow the show on Instagram at Predictably Drunk, on Facebook at Predictably Drunk Podcast and visit our website at You can subscribe to us on Itunes and DON’t FORGET TO RATE US!

You can follow Sam Marcoux on Instagram at Sam Marcoux, on Facebook at Sam Marcoux and Twitter at Tigerclawmedy. You can also go to to get all the latest news on his tour dates, media appearances and more.

Music by: Koma


In one of the best podcasts to date, Sam and Matt discuss the hardships of getting sponsors and endorsement deals for the show because of the word “drunk,” in the title. To remedy that, they spit ball some alternate names for the show to try and appeal to advertisers as a whole. The results are hilarious and disturbing. Plus, Matt drinks a non-Oregon beer, Sam talks about snake humping and of course, boobs!



Follow Sam on twitter at Tigerclawmedy.

Follow Dildo Baggins on twitter at Dildo Baggins.

Check out Sam’s comedy tour dates at


Predictably Drunk’s birthday is here! The podcast turns one this week and to celebrate, both Sam AND Matt have huge announcements to share with the audience. Additionally, Sam realizes just how old he is getting as he experiences his first three-day hangover and gets his ass verbally handed to him by a punk kid on the street. Plus, Matt hates a famous comedian and drinks even more beer from Oregon.

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Matt wishes for you to follow him…to hell.




Sam and Matt trade drunken stories of their past. Which one of us has a propensity for stripping down to our boxers and walking around in public? Was it Sam or Matt that had a naked man throw up all over them? Plus, drunken time traveling, random photos of people in our phone and Matt has an abundance of broken clocks in his home.

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Follow Matt…at your own risk.

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Sam and Matt discuss the overabundance of social networking on the Internet. From Facebook, to Twitter, to Instagram and every other online gathering spot, the boys discuss the ridiculousness of it all, as well as the necessity for it’s existence. In addition, Matt randomly starts bleeding for no apparent reason and Sam recalls getting the bubble guts from insanely hot salsa recently while in Monterey, California.

Follow Sam on TwitterInstagramYoutube, and Facebook. You can also find all of his tour dates on

For the entire Predictably Drunk Series, go to

You can’t follow Matt. He doesn’t like you. Sorry.




Sam and Matt take on the ultimate nerd debate and finally settle which franchise is better: Star Wars or Star Trek? Plus, Matt talks about going to film festivals, Sam mocks Matt’s musical tastes and of course, beer. Lots and lots of beer.

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Please do not follow Matt. He gets sweaty and nervous.

Music By: Koma





Comedian Kabir “Kabeezy” Singh celebrated his 31st birthday on December 30th, 2015. As a gift, his comedy friends decided to hold a roast in his honor. Nothing was off limits, no one was spared. Roasters included: Sammy Obeid, Mario Montes, Bryant Hicks, Jeremy Curry, Jeff Koenig, Chelsea Bearce, D.J. Sandhu, Greg “G” Williams, Reggie Matthews, Nick Hanna, Priyanka Wali, Abel Jaramillo, Jonny Eller, and closed out by me, Sam Marcoux.


2015 is coming to an end, but not before one last episode of Predictably Drunk is brewed! Sam discusses his recent troubles with a certain corporate pizza chain, getting his bank accounts hacked and experiencing his first Comedy Roast Battle, which is the new, hot trend in stand-up comedy.

In addition, Sam introduces his new, permanent co-host in what might be, the least amount of fan fare possible. Matt Somerville joins Sam to discuss his new role on the show, drink copious amounts of beer and give his perspective on all things within the entertainment industry.

Follow Sam on Twitter, friend Sam on Facebook, and keep up with all of the show happenings on Instagram.

You can also check out Sam’s Comedy Tour Dates at

You can follow Matt Somerville…walking to his car.

Music by: Koma




Sam returns to discuss road trippin’ with Kabir Singh and Jeff Koenig down to San Diego. The two of them got into a fight at a local restaurant in the middle of the night, while Sam continued to eat everyone’s food until all three got kicked out. In addition, Sam’s biological father tried to make contact with him, too. The results did not go as planned.

Follow Sam on:

Sam Marcoux @ American Comedy Co., San Diego, CA
Sam Marcoux @ American Comedy Co., San Diego, CA

Predictably Drunk is back with a new episode recapping the recent Reno, Nevada trip. Sam talks about experiencing Reno during the MASSIVE Zombie Pub Crawl that was going on. Additionally, Sam discusses the time warp that is Carson City and avoids breaking up a fight between a hipster and a dead cowboy in the lobby of the comedy club after his show.


Follow Sam on twitter at:



and check his website for all tour dates, pictures and information

Predictably Drunk: The Podcast can be found on iTunes, Stitcher and podcast aggregates all over the web. Be sure to subscribe and tune in weekly for new episodes.

Me looking rather annoyed by the zombies
Me looking rather annoyed by the zombies






It’s Sam’s birthday! And he chose to spend it with all of you! Actually, he is sitting in his studio ranting and raving like a lunatic about having to save his daughter’s dumb fish from killing themselves, laughing maniacally about fellow Comic, Chris Storin emasculating a heckler and saying goodbye to Playboy Magazine as it announces it’s suicide letter by stating that they will no longer have naked women in their publication.

Plus, Sam discusses what other forms of media are quickly evaporating and shamelessly plugs his Stand-Up Comedy tour dates. Speaking of plugs…

Farewell, sweet naked ladies, farewell
Farewell, sweet naked ladies, farewell. I will never forget your nipples.

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and check out his website at:





On this episode of Predictably Drunk, find out why Jeff dresses up to go to work everyday, despite not having a job, hear some of the jokes that have gotten Jeff into hot water with comedy club owners throughout the San Francisco Bay Area, and why the human cockroach was given the nickname, “Stranger Danger.” Oh, and Jeremy Curry drunkenly sits in to offer his insights into the wonderful world of Jeff and interpret all things Jeff.

Jeff AKA Stranger Danger AKA The Driver, is the unofficial wheel man for comedians in the San Francisco Bay Area and aspiring comedian who, admittedly, is not very good on stage. Between his gambling addiction, brain dead ideas, racist and sexist jokes, Jeff Koenig has managed to get himself into and out of trouble, on a daily basis. Despite his trials and tribulations, Jeff has managed to develop a cult following amongst comics including Kabir Singh, Ellis Rodriguez and this show’s other guest this week, Jeremy “Sloth” Curry.



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Chelsea Bearce sat down with Sam in the green room at Cobbs Comedy Club in San Francisco to discuss how she got started in comedy, growing up as a mixed race child and of course, her big boobs. Chelsea discusses growing up in the bay area, breaking into the comedy scene in L.A., and honing her craft in New York City before moving back to Northern California. Plus, special appearances by Jason Rogers and Jeremy Curry as they come into the green room to say hi.



Check out Chelsea Bearce’s parody video “Curvy”


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Stand-Up Comedian Matt Gubser joined Sam in studio this episode to discuss his upcoming comedy special, life as a comedian, life as a father of three girls, and quite possibly the most disturbing story involving children’s bodily fluids that you have heard in a long time.

With his mellow personality and razor sharp wit, Matt’s comedy relentlessly challenges a spectrum of social conventions including politics, organized religion, issues of all shapes and sizes, and recounts the absurdities of his experiences parenting, dating and aging. Also dick jokes.

Matt has performed at clubs and comedy festivals across the western US, including SF Sketchfest, the Sacramento Comedy Festival, S.H.I.T.S. and Giggles Comedy Festival, & Santa Cruz Fringe Fest.  He is part of the Ha Ha Heathens Comedy Tour and co-produces “It’s Just Two Minutes,” a monthly comedy show in San Francisco.

Matt is a Northern California native and currently resides in Oakland. He enjoys sculpting, buying used books he never gets around to reading, and basketball. He has three exasperating daughters. He makes them wear sunscreen and eat too many vegetables.



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Adult Film Star Dave Pounder joins the podcast this week to talk about being in porn for over a decade. Find out how he got started, why he got out and what it is like be in clown porn. Dave also opens up about his most embarrassing moment in porn and how his porn career almost ended before it ever started due to a tactical error by Dave, five minutes before his first scene.

Esteemed pornographer Dave Pounder has produced, directed, and performed in adult films for over a decade, with over one hundred titles to his credit. He holds a bachelors degree in finance from Michigan State University and a masters degree in information management from Arizona State University. He has studied media economics and human sexuality at Indiana University and was accepted into the doctoral program at Concordia University, in Montreal, to study the mainstream consumption of pornography under the tutelage of evolutionary psychologist Dr. Gad Saad. Pounder has lectured on the topic of adult entertainment at several policy and academic institutions, including Indiana University, UCLA, and Emory University. He currently lives in Boca Raton, Florida.
More info at

Plus, Sam and Dave play the new hit show “Punk Band or Porno.” In this game, a name is given, and you have to guess whether it is the name of a punk rock band, or a porn movie. It sounds easy, but is much harder than you think…pun intended!

In addition, the San Francisco Bay Area lost an iconic local comedian in Jimmy Gunn. The performance artist mentored and influenced many up and coming comics over the years, and his loss affected the entire comedy scene in Northern California. Rest easy, Jimmy. Happy retirement.



Follow Sam Marcoux:

@Tigerclawmedy (Twitter)

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@Dave_Pounder (Twitter)


Comedian Sam Meeker joined me in studio to talk about wedding invitation etiquette, the recent Hulk Hogan controversy and growing up in the rough city of Richmond, California. Sam Meeker also discuss how he got started in comedy, the struggles of producing comedy shows and the joys of getting into firework fights with his friends growing up. Additionally, Sam Meeker discusses the struggle of deciding whether to go by Sam or Sammy on stage, as well as talking about the Black Friday Comedy Special that he has been a part of for three years. Check out Sam this weekend at Rooster T. Feathers this weekend in Sunnyvale, CA.

Plus, Sam Marcoux rants like a lunatic about weddings, waxes poetic about glass and brick fights and makes fun of his sister’s hillbilly sounding name.



You can check out Sam Meeker and his tour dates by following him on Twitter at:

@Sam Meeker

Find Sam Marcoux at:

@Tigerclawmedy (twitter)

@predictablydrunk (instagram)


Sam met fellow podcaster Jaye Williams from In The Galaxy Podcast fame and gives his thoughts on meeting someone in person for the first time. Plus, Sam goes off on ESPN’s award show, The Espys, Caitlyn Jenner and more.

Twitter: @Tigerclawmedy

Facebook: sam.marcoux

Instagram: @predictablydrunk


Blogger and Humorist, Christopher Pilny joined the show tonight and did not disappoint. The Rhode Island native explains trying to become a Country Music Singer despite not knowing how to sing, his time working as a straight male at Victoria’s Secret and of course, his development of man boobs. In addition, Christopher shares the story of how he pooped his pants his first day of college and why it is literally, a dick move not to tip baristas in Tennessee.

Plus, Sam quizzes Christopher about his lingerie knowledge, shares his disdain for Berkeley, California and how he got “mustarded”, in Nashville, Tennessee by a hot dog vendor.

Find Christopher Pilny at:

@NotRealChainsaw (Twitter)


Find Sam Marcoux at:

@TigerClawmedy (Twitter)




Sacramento’s Sweetheart, Steph Garcia joined the show to discuss a myriad of topics, including the recent Louie CK controversy and how women in comedy are treated. Steph opens up about some of her own experiences with sexual harassment, and how she dealt with it. Additionally, Steph talks about balancing life as a comic, as well as a mother of two and being a wife, her first time doing comedy and getting ready for her first arena show on September 11th, at the SAP Center in San Jose. Plus, the return of the Best Worst Joke of the Week, and some announcements from Sam on new comedy dates, as well as The Football Show.

You can see her perform solo and with the popular all-female group of talented, sexy comediennes, The Real (funny) Housewives of Rio Linda. She regularly appears at the historical Laughs Unlimited in old town Sacramento, San Jose Improv, the legendary Purple Onion, Punch Line Sacramento, Tommy T’s, the historical Downtown Comedy Club in Los Angeles, Comedy Under the Stars, Fat Cat Modesto and has been featured on television’s, The View.

Follow Steph at: (Twitter)

Follow Sam at:

@Tigerclawmedy (Twitter)

@PredictablyDrunk (Instagram)

Sam recaps a torrid week of comedy on the road, where he performed six shows in seven nights, got fired by a promoter, met a childhood icon, was admonished by a local news station for disrupting their broadcast and more. Plus the Best Worst Joke of the Week, some quick stories about drinking too much Everclear and some praise for fellow comedian, Kabir Singh, as he embarks on new recordings, international tour dates, and more.



My Sounds Laid Down By The Underground
My Sounds Laid Down By The Underground

MONSTER episode this week as Predictably Drunk teams up with Stand Up Comedian and Sports Radio Personality Rudy O. Rudy is the host of the popular Saturday morning show, The Three Amigos on 95.7 The Game. He is also a popular Bay Area Comedian with an established following. You can find him monthly at Tommy T’s in Pleasanton, CA with his monthly showcase, Comic Sense, and bimonthly at The Englander in San Leandro, CA for Rare Form Comedy. You can also check out Rudy Ortiz on May 27th at Cobb’s Comedy Club in San Francisco, CA for the 95.7 The Game Roast of Jason Barrett.

This episode, Rudy and Sam discuss the worst team sports names, as well as answer fan mail for Rudy. Also, the Best Worst Joke of the Week is back and Sam mourns the loss of a family member, at the hands of another family member.



Michael Gilkison swung by the studio and sat down to discuss his own podcast, In The Galaxy, as well as stand up comedy, Youtube, growing up in Kentucky and of course, tequila shots while playing Drinko. Plus, Sam discuss what form of entertainment he likes performing the best, breaks some news about Ellen DeGeneres and of course, the BEST WORST JOKE OF THE WEEK!



Catch Michael and Jaye on their podcast:

Follow Michael on Twitter: @MichaelGilkison


And follow the show on iTunes and Stitcher:


Follow me on Twitter: @Tigerclawmedy



Sam rides solo this week as his scheduled guest no showed twice which is appropriate given the week he had. From busted pants to spilled beer and everything else, in between. Sam also discusses his favorite India Pale Ales on the planet, disses the east coast in honor of Tupac Shakur and plugs his next comedy gig, Thursday, April 30th at Tommy T’s in Pleasanton, CA.

Plus the latest Best Worst Joke of The Week and more!

Comedian/Musician Phil Johnson is this week’s guest. The comedy songwriter talks about wanting to be a physicist growing up, his third comedy album “Pretty From The Back,” how long it has been since he has cut his hair (decades) and becomes Sam’s personal hero once they discuss Phil’s girlfriend. Phil also serenades us with a song off of his new special. Plus, Sam bashes a national headliner’s feature act, discusses why his next door neighbor probably hates him and more!

Check out Phil at the following locations:

And make sure to purchase Phil’s new comedy special “Pretty From The Back” on

Check out Sam Marcoux on:

and on stage Friday, April 17th at the Swiss Park in Newark, CA (Limited tickets left!)

Phil Singing About Babies
Phil Singing About Babies

Wrestlemania 31 is in the books, and Sam and Steve talk about the results, as well as the weirdness of wrestling fans, how hot the sun is and making friends with ‘roided out bodybuilders for the sake of their own safety.

Subscribe on iTunes:

Largest handicap ramp I have ever seen
Largest handicap ramp I have ever seen

#PredictablyDrunk’s host, Sam Marcoux has his best friend of 21 years sit down and discuss his life as a Paramedic, as well as predicting the outcome of the main event for Wrestlemania 31. Also discussed is why he continues to play video games despite being an adult, and the most disgusting thing that has ever happened to him in the medical field (warning: graphic)

Tag Team Champions of the...County
Tag Team Champions of the…County

A MAGNUM edition of the podcast as Comedian Frankie Marcos sits down and discusses virtually everything for an hour with Sam. From how he got his start in comedy, to his New York City debut, to racial jokes and finally settling the lawsuit debate between two major California breweries with a good old fashion taste test and a LOT more.

Sam discusses the horrors of traveling with small children, why his sister’s boobs are thieves and how an argument over a fake handicap parking spot left him with a new nickname (retard face) and Sam’s latest dilemma…Sacagawea Dollars

Follow Frankie At:



Follow me at:


Facebook: and

Franking Each Other
Franking Each Other

A LIVE recording on stage at The Comedy U Show at Anna O’Brien’s in Honolulu, Hawaii with special guest, Comedian Patrick Tyrrell. Patrick and Sam the Hawaii comedy scene, his work to raise funds for pediatric cancer, Sam ponders who designed the layout of Honolulu as a city (no parking!) and Patrick fixes the New York Yankees while Sam tears the San Francisco Giants and Boston Red Sox fans for being the ass hats they truly are.


Abel Jaramillo is back for a third consecutive appearance. He simply won’t leave! But since he is here, we discusses why he pukes before every set, how to deal with hecklers, The ridiculousness of B.J. Upton changing his name to Melvin and what I would need to do to get into Abel’s motorbike gang.



This is how he sat for the entire episode
This is how he sat for the entire episode

And we’re back with Abel Jaramillo as our guest, once again. Sam and Abel discuss what young comedians they like best, Abel’s first time doing comedy, Sam’s penchant for getting guy’s phone numbers after gigs, as well as Abel’s real favorite beer, Sam’s sister’s favorite comedian (Abel) and Abel’s idea on how to fix The Miami Dolphins. Plus, Sam blasts Abel for running the light by EIGHT minutes one night at a comedy club.



Check out Abel Jaramillo on Friday April 17th @ Swiss Park in Newark, CA for the “420 Comedy Joke Out.”

Check out Sam on Saturday, March 14th in Honolulu, Hawaii as part of the “Fresh Funnies” Show @ Cafe Fresh Downtown, and on Wednesday, March 18th @ Anna O’Brien’s in Honolulu, Hawaii.




Comedian and Producer, Abel Jaramillo joins in on the fun this week as he gives his take on the comedy business, why he hates hockey, hanging out with beer snobs, and how he is sort of an accomplice to The Boston Red Sox third basemen, Pablo Sandoval’s criminal enterprises. Plus, Sam destroys Melissa Etheridge and her shitty, fucking music.

Catch Abel’s comedy show “420 Comedy Joke Out” live on Friday April 17th, 2015 starting at 8:00 P.M. @ Swiss Park in Newark, California. Tickets on sale now on  and



I may be a super secret special guest...maybe
I may be a super secret special guest…maybe

Comedian Jeremy Curry came by again to discuss a myriad of topics. In this episode, he fixes the Los Angeles Lakers, trashes the San Francisco 49ers, Miami Dolphins AND my sister. He also shares the story of fellow comic, Charles Kelly’s infamous Los Angeles “riot,” that he started.

Check out Jeremy on March 6th and March 7th at the Bella Ultra Lounge in Oakland, CA.

Check me out in Honolulu, Hawaii on March 14th at Cafe Fresh and March 18th at Anna O’Brien’s on March 18th.


Stand-Up Comedian, Jeremy Curry sits down with Sam in the #PredictablyDrunk studios to discuss his start in comedy, what he loves and hates about it, and where he sees himself going with it in 2015. They also discuss sports, how they met, and attempt to try and set a record for the loudest laugh ever recorded.

Two smart people talking about stupid things.
Two smart people talking about stupid things.

Sam’s daughter is sick. Like REALLY sick. To the point where she turned his house into an indoor swimming pool of germs. In addition, Sam reads and responds to his first batch of hate mail with “Letters From PD-Philes,” announces future guests hosts and manages to irritate IPA fanboys everywhere by comparing Double IPAs to the desperate bar hags you settle on when the bar is closing down.


#PredictablyDrunk has officially shed its webcast skin and morphed into a disgusting, audio night moth. The first episode is up and running. Sam discusses the reasoning behind starting this venture, as well as why his real name sucks, why changing his name made it worse, and why guys love telling drunken stories about themselves, even if it shows them in a negative light.

Plus, the Beer Of The Week and more.

Through all the years of my life, I have come to the conclusion that I am good for two things: Getting myself into awful situations, and living to tell about it. Some of these involve alcohol, some involve medications, but ALL of them include my general dumbassery which, far outweighs the effects of anything else. These are the stories. Don’t judge me.


Not My Proudest Moment: Bombs Away


It happened early.

Less than a minute into my routine, and my worst fear was realized.

I was bombing. Badly

Sweat started to bead on my brow and as I looked out into the crowd, where roughly half of them were there to see me do this, the level of dread grew exponentially in my gut. The genuine smiles and laughter that was shared as I got onto the stage and stepped up to the mic, had quickly switched to forced chuckles and pained smiles from the crowd that was now beginning to see what I was already feeling. I was tanking and everyone in the room knew it. And as the fat girl dressed in multiple shades of pink, walked by the stage and offered her pearls of wisdom (“you better tell funny fucking jokes”), I was officially a flushed turd.

The bartenders knew it, the crowd knew it, and I am pretty sure the microphone even knew it as it started to cut out on my punch lines like some sort of mercy killing. It was that bad. Think about that, the equipment killed itself rather then let me continue. I am not sure how often that happens, but I am willing to bet its less than the Cubs winning the World Series.

And I still had seven minutes left. Seven-fucking-minutes. The first three felt like an eternity and I still had more than twice that time to slog through. Who the fuck decided I could do 10 minutes? What the hell was I thinking? And who is this stupid girl in the front row that has decided that she needs to have a conversation with me while I try to salvage what is left of my dignity?

So I did, what I told myself I wasn’t going to do. I abandoned the routine that I had hastily thrown together earlier in the day in my garage while trying to entertain my daughter. A routine that, upon my limited audience I practiced in front of (i.e. me) seemed like it would work tremendously well with this room of people. At one point, I even caught myself daydreaming of a standing ovation as I dropped the mic and walked off stage, victoriously.

But that fantasy flash was gone now, and so was the aforementioned routine. Def Con Red had been reached and I swiftly slammed my hand down on the panic button. I told the hefty girl in pink, “to die in a fire.” The chit-chattin’ girl in the front row was called ugly by me, twice. And not even in a creative way, I simply looked at her, and told her that, in no uncertain terms, that she was a bucket of yuck. I decided to kick the chair over that accompanied me on stage in hopes of grabbing the audience’s attention back upon the thunderous crash it would generate when it hit the floor. Except it never did. It tipped over, sure. Buy and  it stayed upright, leaning comfortably against the wall.

Perfect. I can’t even kick a chair over now.

I started insulting my friends that were in the audience next. I ripped on my buddy James’s hair and Bo’s lousy football jersey felt my awful venom next. And once that didn’t work I decided to dump the rest of my payload into doing dick and vagina jokes. Dick and vagina jokes. It was hacky, awful and morbidly fucked. It was the real life version of Gigli, and I was the retarded kid that J-lo and Affleck tried to protect (yes, I watched that movie and remember the major plot points, so what?).

Not even a bomb could make that chair fall all the way over
Not even a bomb could make that chair fall all the way over

And as all of this mayhem was playing out on stage, a quiet whistling sound had grown into a screeching howl in my head and culminated into an explosion as I saw the show’s promoter waving me off stage. The bomb hand landed, and it was nuclear. Hiroshima and Nagasaki rolled into one, smack dab in the middle of a dumpy sports bar in the East Bay of San Francisco.

I thanked the audience (even though I didn’t mean it. Seriously, they couldn’t laugh at ONE joke? Not even the one about my sweaty asshole? Fuckers), chugged my beer and got the fuck off the stage. As I went to the green room (smoking area outside), I noticed that the rest of the comics from the night were scarce. No one congratulated me, no one said a word to me. In fact, there was no one there. They left. Or maybe they were in the bathroom, I’m not sure. What I do know was that I was alone. Alone and able to flash reflect on the verbal car wreck I just created. And all I could think was, “Christ I need a cigarette.”

I don’t smoke. Every time I have ever had one, I always wake up feeling like I licked a dead cat’s asshole. My mouth becomes devoid of saliva and the scratchiness makes me wonder if I had gargled with rocks the night before. But for some reason, a cancer stick seemed absolutely glorious right about then.

Out of no where, my friend Drew appeared, heater in hand and a lighter on his thumb. Sweet Drew. Beautiful Drew. My hero. My bald, angry, smoking, hero. I lit it up and stood there in silence, enjoying the years I was taking off my life in that moment. As I did this, my friends and family started trickling out to try and console me under the guise of congratulations. It was hard to take them seriously though, or even hear them over the devastating laughter coming from the room for the other comics. Oh now you laugh at the dick jokes?


And my group of people meant well. They tried to cheer me up, telling me that it “took guts to get up there,” and “it isn’t easy.” Well, sure, but it also wasn’t funny and not being a complete dolt, I was able to sift through their well-intentioned bullshit and dine on the red meat of what they were trying to say. They weren’t impressed, and quite frankly, were somewhat dismayed at my performance. Sort of like how my first time having sex was for that girl I did that with, I imagine (kidding of course, I was brilliant that night).

Fake praise and prop-up speech aside, I still didn’t feel better. Why was this affecting me like this? Usually if I fail at something, I shrug my shoulders at it, and move on. Not this time, however. I could tell that this was going to stick in my craw for awhile.  I would wake up the next day and fumble through work in a daze.

Texts poured in from people who went, thanking me for inviting them (another work around of the real issue of me shitting up the stage). A message from the guy who promoted the night, telling me that I wouldn’t be able to work The Improv in San Jose that night (due to time constraints…or  due to my fucktardery on stage the night before). I understood, I wasn’t mad. In a way, it was sort of a relief. I went back to working, and life went back to normal. Beautiful, boring, normal. Welcome back, normal. I missed you.

Work went into the evening and I found myself at dinner with co-workers and clients. As we drank our beers and shot the shit about a myriad of topics, laughter began to dominate the conversation. I told stories about how I was attacked by a pygmy goat in The Bahamas, how my daughter, Chloe, sticks her tongue out while she twerks (she is seven months old and every time she “Miley’s,” she becomes grounded for another year), and poked fun at each other. With each barb and joke, the laughter grew. Genuine laughter from a captive audience.

And as we said our goodbyes for the night, one of my customers came and gave me the business bro hug (that awkward half handshake combined with that arm barrier hug thingy, while wearing slacks) and said, “Hey man, you are pretty freaking funny. Ever think about doing stand-up?”